“What if I’m not good enough?”
I hear this all the time from clients. You know where else I hear this? In my head, all the time!! Or, I used to.
What is good enough in regards to singing?
If you’re trying to get on or win a TV singing competition show, there may be some qualities we could agree on that you could look to for skill building, but it’s still arbitrary. We vote our opinion in regards to art. Other than this specific goal, what is good enough? Good enough for someone to enjoy listening to you? That’s still a little arbitrary, but let’s say our baseline for someone enjoying you is making sure you can match pitch (same thing as singing in key/tune). That is achievable skill-building skill! Give me a shout if you want to find out how!
Ok, so you can sing in tune and you’re not trying to win a singing competition show. I pose that you go ahead and…
BELIEVE you ARE good ENOUGH!
Once upon a time, singing was an outward expression of joy and celebration, sorrow and protest and any emotion in between. Everyone is GOOD ENOUGH to sing as expression.
I’ve sung my whole life. Got solos in church musicals, school concerts, got patted on the back over and over for how beautiful my voice was/is. Still, i would worry I wasn’t good enough. Better than her, but not as good as her. Of course, it’s all rubbish! You know when I realized that? When I realized that I also didn’t believe I was a good enough person, worthy of love and respect, and all the things. How absurd that is when we hear someone say it. Especially someone we love and do think is GOOD ENOUGH. But, you know what?
According the the wide world of self-help books, many of us feel this way.
Five years of diving into discovering who I am, why I am, and how to heal, and be better, I believe I am GOOD ENOUGH. I have bad days, moments of doubt. The little cavewoman voice pops up occasionally to worry about my value or worth, or being good enough, but overall, I BELIEVE! I think that belief has made me a better singer too. You know what worrying about not being good enough does to you as a singer? Makes you tense? Guess what tension in the body sounds like in a voice? Shaky and unsteady. If you want to sing, don’t let not thinking you’re good enough get in the way!
I BELIEVE YOU ARE ENOUGH.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
Here are some of my favorite books on boosting self-esteem, getting into the vulnerability of being me, building self worth/confidence, and encouraging the artist within:
Daring greatly - Brene Brown
The year of yes - Shonda Rhimes (yes, grey’s anatomy!)
The Highly Sensitive Person - Elaine A. Aron
Big Magic - Elizabeth Gilbert
Beyond Codependency - Melody Beattie
The Art of Asking - Amanda Palmer
The Four Agreements - don Miguel Ruiz
The F*ck It Diet - Caroline Dooner
The war of art- Stephen Pressfield
Steal like an artist- Kleon
Crucial conversations- Kerry Patterson